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What To Do During A Flood

This weekend, my wife and I found ourselves in a flood situation. Not one, but two nor'easters came whipping down, just at the new moon when the tides are high anyway. The water was overflowing the canals and coming fi…
Harry Potter and the Pillow-Talk of Doom

(Contextual Note: my wife is reading through the Harry Potter series for the first time, and has just finished Book 2.) Me: "Really, it makes perfect sense." She: "Does it?" Me: "Well you figure that Hogwarts, despite …
Contest: Honeymoon T-shirt Slogan

Contest Announcement!!! I want to whip up some good Honeymoon-themed T-shirts. I want people to know that I'm on my honeymoon when I'm on my honeymoon. So that's where you come in, Internet. Come up with Honeymoon s…
Lock the Catbox, Lock the Catbox

Me: *singing along with radio* "I'm going CRA-ZY! I just can't sleep. A shining rocket burns up all my sheep." She: "That's not how it goes." Me: "I'm going CRA-ZY! I feel all right! My Mini jimmies in the skinny…
Apartment Tour

Jessie and I giving a tour of our future apartment. It's a lot nicer-looking now, with everything out of boxes and all. This would have been a Xanga video, but Xanga is taking forever to transcode my videos--they're…
More Baby Names

(Disclaimer: nobody's pregnant. This conversation was wholly hypothetical/theoretical/distant future) She: I really like the two names we've come up with. Especially "Cadence Grace." Me: I love that we were able to…
Rated PG: Parents, look away

Alternatively titled, Two Virgins Trying To Figure Out Bridal Shower Gifts Me: "They come in flavors." She: "Oh." Me: "I'm assuming that means they're ingestible?" She: "Well, it says they're water-based." Me: "I…
Jesus = Better Sex!

From one of my required-reading books in my premarital counseling class: "In more recent studies, Dr. Paul Wallin and Dr. Alexander Clark concluded that probably no more than 15 percent of women depend upon a fully sati…
Wedding Invitations

"I liked this one.""All right." God has led two lives to take one path. Christopher ***** Russo and Jessica Ru** ****** together with their parents invite you to share in their joy as they enter into the commitment of ma…
The Story

1) Happenstance It started, oddly enough, with Xanga. See, while I was going to grad school in Binghamton, my mother and sister gave her my Xanga's URL. And she came by and checked it out, and read old posts. I'm…